Man, Millennial Monopoly makes me mind Monopoly

Hi. I’m Writey and I’m a millennial. Apparently all is fair in mongering and marketing, because not only do conservative babyboomers bash my generation at every turn when they’re not blaming blacks, non-normatives or some kind of non-existent elite other than the one they’re part of for everything they imagine is wrong with their lives: there’s a new player on the block.

And that player is Hasbro. Hasbro is a games company, if you’re not familiar with them, and despite all their faults we kinda have to love them because of the Joy for All robot animals. Have you seen those things? They’re cute as hell. However, less cute is this latest addition to the increasingly desperate Monopoly franchise.

Monopoly for Millennials. Right: first off, ‘for millennials’? I played Monopoly on an old DOS PC long before the term was even coined or widely known and Hasbro comes with a board version of Monopoly ‘for Millennials’. That should be your first hint that this fucking thing was not created with actual millennials in mind.

And despite very much not wanting to, we have to discuss the rest of this. Just to vent. The tag-line of this version of monopoly is ‘Forget real estate, you can’t afford it anyway’. So, the Millennial-version of the game that has the primary objective to GET ALL THE FAKE REAL ESTATE AND MAKE A FUCKTON OF FAKE MONEY is telling you to forget about real estate.

So what, pray tell, did the geniuses at Hasbro come up with to replace the main goal of Monopoly with? EXPERIENCE POINTS. Seriously? You’re replacing money with XP? First and foremost: that’s stealing from your other franchise. XP is the thing you gather in Dungeons and Dragons, you drunk morons. And it’s not per definition a millennial thing either: a few generations of geeks have now been using the system for character improvement based on experience.

However, even more seriously: fuck you, Hasbro. Because gaining experience instead of money is one of the reasons we can’t afford real estate. And guess whose fault that is? Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck you. Ever tried paying your bills with experience? NO THAT DIDN’T WORK DID IT!

So anyway, you’ve replaced money with XP. What did you replace the fake real estate with? Well, you gain XP by visiting the hottest destinations: “from your Friend’s Couch, to the Vegan Bistro, to a Week-Long Meditation Retreat”.

Right. It’s become very clear to me that this fucking game has one fucking target audience: your conservative uncle. He’ll buy this kind of shit for Christmas to give to you, just so he can piss you off. Our advice? The best possible experience points you can gather by letting it immediately visit the hottest destination. Yes, that would be the fire place during christmas. Happy holidays to all (except Hasbro: fuck you), I’m off to play D&D and hug robot cats.

Hunger Games

Hunger Games: How to make the odds in your favour

In 2012 the film adaptation of The Hunger Games hit theatres. In a post apocalyptic version of the United States, 24 children from 12 districts are chosen and thrown into an arena to kill and survive. The evil Capitol uses the catchphrase: “May the odds be ever in your favour.” But can you do that? How can you make the odds be in your favour so you have the best chance to survive?

First of all: don’t volunteer if your name is not drawn. That will make your chances of survival a 100%. If you are chosen, however, there are things you càn do. Sulking around and being anti-social like Katniss will not improve your chances. Maybe you think that age or gender are big factors in the Hunger Games, but you would be wrong. It also doesn’t really matter from which district you are either.

In this theory from the YouTube channel The Film Theorists they explain how you can actually turn the odds in your favour. If you want to survive the Hunger Games, you might want to pay attention. There are some pretty clever tips and tricks you can use and emerge alive, thus victorious!

How to survive the Hunger Games part 1

How to survive the Hunger Hames part 2

friends

The One About F*R*I*E*N*D*S (part 1)

Let’s talk a little about our most beloved sitcom from the nineties (and naughties): F*R*I*E*N*D*S. Who doesn’t know the romantic adventures of Monica, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey? It’s hard to believe that the first episode aired almost 24 years ago. The show has stood the test of time however, and Netflix now gives us the chance to binge Friends in an okay-ish resolution.

There’s a lot, A LOT to talk about when it comes to Friends, and because I’m an expert, this post will be part one of an unspecified number of posts.

Recurring names

I started binging again recently and I came across some recurring names. This is some intense fangirl-stuff, mind you, after watching all ten seasons dozens of times and being able to talk along with most episodes, so don’t be alarmed. True Friends-fans will get the references though.

In real life you encounter people who have the same name, but in series this is a very rare occurance. You almost never see two Erics, for instance. (Although the name Eric For(e)man appears in both House and That 70’s Show.) Friends doesn’t shy away from reusing names however. It’s very possible some of these names pop up even more often, but these are the ones I could find so far. Let us know if you have spotted more!

1 Julio
Monica’s Italian fling from the diner and the cat Phoebe thinks is the spirit of her dead adoptive mom. Ross makes her take the cat back, but not before apologising to it.

2 Kate Miller
Joey’s curly haired crush who leaves for General Hospital and the nametag Rachel gets in Barbados.

3 Emily (three times)
The name Ross finds in the Big Book of Childrens Names when Rachel freaks out about how serious their relationship becomes and Ross’ English wife, who leaves him after he said the wrong name at the altar. Also, Rachel’s sister Amy thinks Emma’s name is ‘Emily’ at some point.

4 Mark
Rachel’s collegue Ross is jealous of in The One With All The Jealousy and one of the names Chandler mentions he might pick in stead of Chandler Bing. He has to choose between Mark Johnson or John Markson. Of course this is a clever ruse to get Phoebe to name one of the triplets Chandler, which works.

5 Josh
The fratguy Rachel dates to make Ross jealous. He steals from her and Monica, but he’s cute. Rachel gets a crush on a customer at Bloomingdales who is named Joshua. Ross undermines him by calling him ‘Josh’.

6 Jack (three times)
Ross and Monica’s dad, the dead guy from the funeral Monica and Phoebe cater at and Sting’s son.

7 Phyllis
An aunt of Ross and Monica. “She’s with PopPop and Aunt Phyllis now.” and the nickname Chandler gives Phoebe when she keeps writing about him and Monica. “Phyllis sees what I’m doing.”

8 Dr. Obermann
The female OBGYN of Carol and the young male OBGYN when Phoebe has the triplets. That is one heck of a coincidence, isn’t it. Maybe it was her son? Fanfiction!

9 Jill
Jill Goodacre, the Victoria’s Secret model Chandler meets when he’s trapped in an ATM-vestibule during a blackout and Rachel’s younger sister Jill, played by Reese Witherspoon.

10 Tony
Phoebe breaks up with Tony when Chandler tries to break up with Janice. An actor plays Joey’s twinbrother Tony Tribbiani so they can participate in a twin study. “Damn it, Carl!”

11 Mike
The name on the office door when Chandler hides on his wedding day. Joey and Ross find him and convince him to come back. Mike Hannigan, Phoebe’s boyfriend, fiancée and husband, also known as ‘Crap Bag’.

12 Kristen
Kristen Leigh, a beautiful woman who both Joey and Ross date, until they ‘lose her’. (Probably around gonorrhea.) Ross dates a Kristen to whom he tells the Europe-story. It’s the magic story you tell when you want to have sex, according to Joey. Ross doesn’t succeed in seducing his date, which is why he practiced with a videocamera rolling, inadvertently taping him and Rachel conceiving Emma.

13 Bob (three times)
Chandler has a guy at his office who has been calling him Toby for years. (This is Chris Parnell, by the way, the voice of Jerry Smith in Rick and Morty.) Phoebe says she killed her friend Bob when she went to the dentist. Luckily she didn’t kill Ugly Naked Guy. Monica and Chandler receive a hideous punchbowl from Bob and Fay Bing.

14 Julie
Joey had a date with Angela or Andrea, but it turns out it’s Julie. It’s hard to keep the names straight when you’re a serial dater like Joey. Ross dates another Julie, who he meets in China. She isn’t rachem. If you don’t know what a rachem is, you’re probably just a waitress.

15 Frank
Frank Madeo is Joey’s nametag in Barbados. Phoebe’s father, brother and nephew are called Frank, Frank Junior and Frank Junior Junior. (“Wouldn’t that be ‘Frank the Third’?” Chandler asks Alice. “Don’t get me started.” she replies.)

16 Elisabeth
Ross dates both Elisabeth Hornswoggle (Chandler can’t handle that and cracks: “Hornswoggle? You’re dating a character from Fraggle Rock?!”) and Elisabeth Stephens, one of his students, who’s father dates Rachel. This relationship ends with a waterballoon on his head.

Sidenote: Boy, Ross makes a LOT of mistakes in his lovelife, doesn’t he. Meanwhile we all thought Chandler was the loser of the three guys, but in the end Chandler is happily married with two adoptive kids and a career he finally loves. Ross the Divorcer on the other hand reaches a point at which he is dating a woman whilst living with his pregnant ex-wife Rachel, whom he still loves. Who is the real loser of the Friends in your opinion?

Other stuff

Weekend at Bernies
This movie classic is mentioned in The One With Chandlers Mom and it’s one of the answers during the big questiongame. It’s Rachel’s favorite movie, although she claims that Dangerous Liasons is her favorite. The girls lose the game and have to live in the guy’s apartment. (They get it back by just switching everything and kissing for one minute to thank Joey and Chandler.)

Bad, bad Leroy Brown
Richard asks Monica if he’s fattest or the baddest man in the whole damn town. Monica says: “Baddest. Otherwise the song would be called ‘fat, fat Leroy Brown’.” When Phoebe tries to teach Joey to play guitar, he’s miffed that she won’t let him touch an actual guitar. After he went into a guitar-store anyway, she yells: “Don’t come crying to me when everyone is sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!”

Actors and actresses

Winona Rider
This actress is on Ross’ laminated freebee-list. He reserves tickets to a movie and says on the phone: “Winona Rider for six.” Which movie this is supposed to be is unclear, though. Winona Rider herself has a cameo as Melissa in The One With Rachel’s Big Kiss.

Elle McPherson
Another entry from Ross’ freebee-list, but also one of the things to think about when you need to get excited. This actress has a cameo in The One with Ross and Monica’s cousin. She keeps flipping her hair about in a sexy and hypnotic way. Ross leans in to kiss her. His cousin. Because he hadn’t had sex in a very long time. We are very opinionated about Ross’ behaviour by now.

Sean Penn
Not the Capital of Cambodia and Ursula’s fiancée.

 

The dictionary you never knew you needed. But you do.

Surely, all of us at Reasonish can appreciate the diversity of the word ‘fuck’, as common pop culture so readily demonstrates.

Be that the scene from Boondock Saints or the somewhat less recent, but never out-of-style classic from the hands of Monty Python itself or even – dare we reference it (yes. Yes we do) – Limp Bizkit angry-rapping “fuck’s just a word and it’s all fucked up“. For reasons that allude us, that song is called Hot Dog. From the album “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water”. That’s not what this post is about, but it shouldn’t have gone without saying that nothing in that title makes sense. In fact, before we go on, let’s address this. We’re sorry, you can skip this part if you like.

Nothing chocolatey about it

Now, a starfish is, of course, a type of sea animal. Yes, indeed you youngsters: Patrick from Spongebob is a Starfish. And while we’re sure that there are chocolate star fishes out there, that is not what this is about. Apparently, it is about Fred Durst. He’s the main man in Limp Bizkit, which name itself sounds like either erectile dysfunction or a tea and biscuits incident involving Megan Mharkle.

Anyway, everybody apparently calls Durst an asshole. We’re supposing that’s probably because he is. And that led him to nickname himself Chocolate Starfish. And this is the part that we don’t get. The little brown pecker at your backside may be creatively referred to as a star from time to time, but it’s not a starfish. And the brown stuff is not chocolate. And then there’s the hot dog. We don’t know about it. It simply doesn’t make sense in the context of a song that’s basically 46 ‘fucks’ with words cramped in between it.

And even less sense is made by the ‘Hot Dog Flavoured Water’. It doesn’t say why. It’s not a thing. And nobody in their right mind would want it. But we’ve digressed. A lot.

This post started with fuck

Indeed. To be precise: it started with the diversity of the word ‘fuck’. We appreciate it, but don’t you feel like you sometimes long for some diversity? Like you want to get away from fuck, shit, ass and balls and the occassional goddamn?

Well, we have some great news from you, but it isn’t exactly news. It’s not fake news, though, it’s just not that.. well, new. You see, in 1785 a man called Captain Grose finished a project to visit venues of the common folk. Venues that weren’t as distinguished as his social circle with a university upbringing.

Now Grose made a point of documenting slang from these bar brawlers and pickpockets and he created a dictionary of it. He called it “the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue”. But that’s not all. After his death, some in the university circles noticed that university crowd had upped their game in terms of vulgarity and were now quite proficient at it. So, they took the 1785 Dictionary and started to add to it.

The result is vulgar

The result became the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. Do we want to quote from it? Don’t mind if we do.

Let’s start with a familiar one, because this one stuck around:

BEAR. One who contracts to deliver a certain quantity of sum of stock in the public funds, on a future day, and at stated price; or, in other words, sells what he has not got, like the huntsman in the fable, who sold the bear’s skin before the bear was killed. As the bear sells the stock he is not possessed of, so the bull purchases what he has not money to pay for; but in case of any alteration in the price agreed on, either party pays or receives the difference. Exchange Alley.

Of course, that is now stocktrader jargon rather than vulgar use of the English language. Interesting how that works, isn’t  it. Now let’s get classy.

BOH. Said to be the name of a Danish general, who so terrified his opponent Foh, that he caused him to bewray himself. Whence, when we smell a stink, it is custom to exclaim, Foh! i.e. I smell general Foh. He cannot say Boh to a goose; i.e. he is a cowardly or sheepish fellow. There is a story related of the celebrated Ben Jonson, who always dressed very plain; that being introduced to the presence of a nobleman, the peer, struck by his homely appearance and awkward manner, exclaimed, as if in doubt, “you Ben Johnson! why you look as if you could not say Boh to a goose!” “Boh!” replied the wit.

Of course we had to include one that mentions shit. Don’t worry, we’ll stay classy (will we? .. nah)

There’s no way we’re staying classy

TO BOX THE JESUIT, AND GET COCK ROACHES. A sea term for masturbation; a crime, it is said, much practised by the reverend fathers of that society.

Think about that one the next time you’re trying to rub one out. And then there’s this story about a drunk wife, an abusive husband and a six-legged sow that was really the innocent victim here.

DAVID’S SOW. As drunk as David’s sow; a common saying, which took its rise from the following circumstance: One David Lloyd, a Welchman, who kept an alehouse at Hereford, had a living sow with six legs, which was greatly resorted to by the curious; he had also a wife much addicted to drunkenness, for which he used sometimes to give her due correction.

One day David’s wife having taken a cup too much, and being fearful of the consequences, turned out the sow, and lay down to sleep herself sober in the stye. A company coming in to see the sow, David ushered them into the stye, exclaiming, there is a sow for you! did any of you ever see such another? all the while supposing the sow had really been there; to which some of the company, seeing the state the woman was in, replied, it was the drunkenest sow they had ever beheld; whence the woman was ever after called David’s sow.

The unmentionables

For all of its’ purpose, the dictionary of the vulgar tongue is not without shame. We are, but this was 1785 and some things were just not done. However, it being a dictionary of the vulgar tongue, the authors simply used a replacement word indicative of the word that was (apparently) so vile that, unlike arse – simply spelled a-se – it could really not be directly named by anything other than “the monosyllable”.

That’s worse than ‘fuck’ gets treated – IT still gets to keep one letter. Cunt simply didn’t get mentioned, other than by this reference. Words that mean ‘cunt’ however, do. There’s a couple of them. We’re going to name them. Yes, all.

BLACK JOKE
BOTTOMLESS PIT
BROWN MADAM, or MISS BROWN
BUCKINGER’S BOOT. Matthew Buckinger was born without hands and legs; notwithstanding which he drew coats of arms very neatly, and could write the Lord’s Prayer within the compass of a shilling; he was married to a tall handsome woman, and traversed the country, shewing himself for money.
BUN. A common name for a rabbit, also for the monosyllable. To touch bun for luck; a practice observed among sailors going on a cruize.
EVE’S CUSTOM-HOUSE, where Adam made his first entry.
MISS LAYCOCK
MOTHER OF ALL SAINTS
MOTHER OF ALL SOULS
MOTHER OF ST. PATRICK
TUZZY-MUZZY

Well, there you have it. Didn’t we say this was the dictionary you didn’t think you needed, but do? Well, here’s the good news: it’s free. The Gutenberg project digitized the entire thing and since it’s so old, copyrights have long expired. You can get the ebook here. You’re welcome.

Hook Liar Liar Jingle All The Way

Comparing Hook, Liar Liar and Jingle All The Way

We’re going to take a look at nineties legends Hook, Liar Liar and Jingle All The Way today. The nineties were chuckfull of great movies with amazing plottwists (Fight Club), awesome special effects (Titanic) and loving patriotism (Armageddon and basically every movie situated in the US.) The failing dad-trope isn’t limited to the nineties, as we could see in 2012, War of the Worlds and Interstellar, but it is one of the key components in the three movies we’ll be comparing.

Meet the three protagonaist first. In Hook (1991) we have the overweight lawyer Peter Banning, played by Robin Williams. Another lawyer, but a smooth one, is Fletcher Reede in Liar Liar (1997), played by rubberface Jim Carrey. In Jingle All The Way (1996) Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the muscley salesman Howard Langston. [Spoileralert.]

Now let’s take a look at the list of similarities.

1 Annoying sons

The failing dads in all three movies have an annoying little boy to disappoint. The kids are basically interchangeable with their nineties haircuts and whiney voices. We don’t even know their names and we don’t have to, because it doesn’t really matter. The boys have only two traits anyway: they like a certain sport and they love their daddy.

2 Perpetually late

The dads are perpetually late to everything, especially important moments for the boys. Both Banning and Langston think they can make the sportsevent of their sons, even yelling: “I’m gonna make it!” and then arrive when the event is already over. As in: way over. Fletcher has some other things on his mind (and dick) that make him late.

3 Workaholic

The reason these daddies are late all the time is, of course, their job. The workaholic father is a special kind of failing dad. Howard even says “And remember, you’re my number one costumer.” to his wife on the phone. The positive part is that the fathers are rolling in dough, which makes their quests a lot easier.

4 The promise

Peter has a catchphrase about The Big Promise (to attend the ballgame): “My word is my bond.” He missed the game, however, and when he actually uses this phrase again, the son answers: “Yeah, junkbond…” In Jingle all the way Howard promises his son to come to the parade: “I’ll be there. I promise.” Even though he eventually shows up as a part of the parade, he still breaks his original promise. Fletcher promises son Max that they can go play catch, which never happens, and he promises his ex-wife that he’ll pick up the boy, but he fails. Even when he makes ‘the mother of all promises’, he messes up.

5 Generic mothers

The mothers in all three movies are pretty, brownhaired and generic. Boring, basically. They only display one charactertrait: disappointment in the dad. None of the mothers explain what ‘workaholic’ means, though, nor do they seem to make a lot of effort to get through to the fathers. But they love their kids and that’s the most important.

6 Other fatherfigure who doesn’t mess up

In all three movies there is a substitute fatherfigure who doesn’t mess up like the biological one does. In Liar Liar the mom has a new boyfriend who’s actually a nice guy. He tries to bond with his girlfriend’s son and wants what’s best for both of them. Captain Hook, played by Dustin Hoffman, tries to win over the son just to fuck with Peter Pan, and he almost succeeds. Howard’s divorced neighbour does his best to seduce the mom and he maintains the façade of the perfect single dad. The other mothers in the street practically drool over him all the time. His son even mentions to his friend that maybe his parents should get divorced as well.

7 The gift

The boys all get a gift from their fathers. Fletcher doesn’t know what’s in the gift, because his secretary bought the ‘baseballstuff’, but Puddingbowl Haircutboy loves it. Peter gives his pocketwatch to son Jack, which functions as a kind of McGuffin in Hook. The biggest McGuffin is of course the Turboman action figure Howard keeps trying to get his hands on during Jingle All The Way. When tiny Anakin eventually gets the doll, he gives it away… because ‘he already has the real one at home.’ Really? A boy who gives away a special edition action figure? *sigh*

8 Antagonist

The antagonist in Liar Liar is probably Fletcher himself, but his bitchy boss fits the bill as well. We don’t even have to explain the bad guy in Hook, but in Jingle All The Way Howard meets a mailman he keeps bumping into. This guy is also looking for the Turboman action figure and they keep battling for the toy until the bad guy goes to jail.

9 Flying

Howard and Peter’s flying is pretty literal in Hook and Jingle All The Way. Peter Pan manages to fly eventually because he finds his ‘happy thought’ and Howard gets to don the Turboman suit with jetpack. Fletcher does a bit of flying when his stolen cart crashes at the airport.

10 Bonding

After all the danger and drama has passed, all fathers bond with their sons, bettering themselves and changing their ways. Or so we’re to believe. Banning overcomes his fear of flying and open windows, while Reede finally realises he shouldn’t take his son for granted and Langston admits he’d been neglecting his son and wife. “But noe moah!” They all live happily ever after.

Read about surprising voice-actors here.

 

Hagrid

What’s the deal with Hagrid’s umbrella?

We all know Rebeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts, has a pink flowery umbrella with which he is able to perform at least some level of magic. Hagrid never finished Hogwarts, being expelled in his third year, so he’s not a qualified wizard and he doesn’t own a wand. Or does he?

Let’s dive into the story of Hagrid to discuss his pink umbrella.

Hogwarts

When Rubeus was in his third year, he was expelled for owning giant arachnid Aragog, who supposedly killed a girl named Myrtle. She, of course, became Moaning Myrtle, the gloomy ghost in the girls bathroom. Her death was not on Aragog at all, but rather on the Basilisk, dwelling in the Chamber of Secrets. Because Hagrid was basically an orphan, Albus Dumbledore made sure the kind young half-giant could stay at Hogwarts as gamekeeper. Hagrid couldn’t go and buy a new wand, because mr. Ollivander knows every wand he ever sold, and he also knew that Hagrid’s was broken in half. They even talked about it in The Philosopher’s Stone. But how can he perform magic with the umbrella then?

Theory

The theory goes that the elder wand comes in to play here. Rubeus got expelled in 1943 when Voldemort, or rather Tom Riddle, was still at school. The real villain at that point was Gellert Grindelwald, who owned the unbeatable elder wand. Somewhere along the line Dumbledore duelled with him and won the battle, thereby claiming the elder wand for himself. Hagrid would have been only 17 at the time, but we know he was in the first Order of the Phoenix. We also know the elder wand is capable of repairing wands that are supposed to be beyond repair; Harry managed it at the end of The Deathly Hallows. Dumbledore was professor of transfiguration at the time, so what if he mended Hagid’s wand with his new elder wand and transfigured it to an umbrella?

Backstory

Hagrid’s wand was said to be 16 inches, which is 40,64cm. Wands are usually between 9 and 14 inches long, although longer or shorter ones do find their way to owners occasionally. Being a half-giant would merit an exceptionally long wand, wouldn’t it? Imagine a wand of 40 cm with an umbrellahandle attached to it, and there you go. The umbrella ís the wand, just disguised so Hagrid doesn’t get in trouble. We might even get to see how this came to be in one of the Fantastic Beasts And How To Find Them-movies. Jude Law has been cast as a younger Dumbledore and we have already seen Grindelwald in the first movie, so the big duel will probably take place on screen. We know Dumbledore trusts Hagrid with his life… What if he already did during the First Wizarding War…

Rick and Morty

10 awesome characters from Rick and Morty (with quotes)

Animation series Rick and Morty from Adult Swim is known for many wacky characters, with names ranging from hilarious to downright crazy. Let’s take a look at some of the most awesome characters that have been introduced in the two-and-a-half seasons of this amazing show. We will even add quotes as a bonus! Do you know all these characters?

Warning: major spoiler-alert if you’re not up to date with Rick and Morty. Duh. Kudos for Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland for bringing all these funny-as-hell characters into our lives!

1 Abradolf Lincler

Rick and Morty

Abradolf at Rick’s party

“Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!”
Abradolf Lincler was an experiment of Rick’s, combining the DNA of both Abraham Lincoln and Adolf Hitler to create a morally neutral superleader. This did not work out, of course, for Abradolf struggled with his duality until his untimely demise.

2 Mr. Meeseeks

Rick and Morty

Jerry and Mr. Meeseeks

“I’m Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!”
Meeseeks are creatures that spring into being from a Meeseeks Box to fulfill a singular purpose, after which they stop existing. Rick advises Beth, Jerry and Summer to keep their requests simple. Beth and Summer’s Meeseeks vanish quite quickly, but things get out of hand when chronically mediocre Jerry asks to get two strokes off his golf game. Chaos ensues.

3 Risotto Groupon

Rick and Morty

Jerry and Risotto Groupon

“My kingdom was usurped by force with weapons and technologies supplied by your father-in-law!”
Assistant general manager of a restaurant on a planet where you can’t die, Risotto Groupon tries to get Jerry to assist in the assassination of Rick.

4 Mr. Poopybutthole

Rick and Morty

Rick and Mr. Poopybutthole

“Ooh, wee!”
We dedicated a whole post to this zany character. Read about the mystery behind his existence HERE! The bananalike creature is annoyingly upbeat, says ‘Ooh, wee’ a lot and might only exist in a parallel universe.

5 Mrs. Pancakes

Rick and Morty

Mr. Goldenfold watching The Days and Nights of Mrs. Pancakes

“You don’t know me!”
This leading lady in a television show called The Days and Nights of Mrs. Pancakes, is a sassy gal. That’s about it.

6 Morty Jr.

Rick and Morty

Morty and Morty Jr.

“Destruction, domination!”
In the episode Raising Gazorpazorp, Morty has some fun with a sexrobot from the planet Gazorpazorp. Out pops his mutant-son, Morty Jr. This Gazorpazorpian hybrid loves death and violence, but Morty manages to calm his rapidly growing pink monstrosity down with the song Handy Hands. Later, Morty Jr. publishes his novel ‘My horrible father’.

7 Birdperson

Rick and Morty

Tammy and Birdperson

“Morty, you appear to be dying.”
Being Rick’s best friend means having comitted numerous atrocities in the name of freedom, basically rendering you a fugutive. Birdperson is a calm, collected, half-bird, half-person. In his mate-melding ceremony to Summer’s friend Tammy, shit hits the fan when the Galactic Federation bursts in.

8 Squanchy

Rick and Morty

Squanchy at Birdperson’s wedding

“Rick! Sqauncy party, bro!”
Squanchy is a Squanch from the planet Squanch, where the Birdpeople live. He likes to squanch and he can use an elixer in one of his teeth to become a kind of Squanch-hulk. (Yup, the word ‘squanch’ is basically a form of ‘smurf’.) Rick: “Squachy-culture is more contextual than literal. You just say what’s in your squanch and people understand.”

9 Million Ants

Rick and Morty

Million Ants at the Vindicator’s meeting

 

“A million times better!”
As part of the Vindicators, Million Ants is a superhero comprised of… a million ants. After having an affair with Supernova, his story ends rather drastic in the season three episode Vindicators 3: the Return of Worldender. A colony can’t function without a queen, you know.

10 King Flippy Nips

Rick and Morty

King Flippy Nips from Pluto

“You really gave it to those guys at NASA.”
Being the king of Pluto must be a tough job. In Something Ricked This Way Comes, Jerry proclaims Pluto is a planet, in stead of a celestial dwarf. Morty and him get abducted because King Flippy Nips wants to use ‘Earth scientist’ Jerry’s statement to keep his loyal subjects satisfied. (He made the list because of his cool name, cute appearance and ruthlesness.)

Rick and Morty: MPB theory

Rick & Morty is the popular animated series from Adult Swim in which we follow brilliant scientist Rick, his mildmannered grandson Morty and the rest of the Smith-family. You know the show! If you don’t, you should binge it as soon as possible. Rick’s portalgun is the main catalyst for many wacky adventures, filled with popculture references and zany characters. SPOILERALERT!

One of those characters is the bananalike Mr. Poopybutthole from season 2 episode 4: Total Rickall. The theory I’m going to discuss, and hopefully prove, involves his existence.

Total Rickall

In this episode Uncle Steve is at the dinnertable with the Smiths. Rick is seen dumping limegreen stones with pink stuff on them in the garbage and subsequently shoots Uncle Steve in the head.

MPB

The family is shocked to discover that Steve is actually an alien parasite. Rick explains that the telepathic parasites embed themselves in memories, then use those to multiply and take over whole planets. “Somebody probably dragged it in on the bottom of their shoe or a piece of alien fruit.” Rick says. “Somebody?” Summer asks, eyebrow raised.

MPB

Suddenly Mr. Poopybutthole appears. Is he a parasite as well? The Smiths remember being stuck in an elevator after the Hulk-musical with MPB, only to be rescued by one Cousin Nicky from Jersey. (“I’m walking here!”) Character after character emerges, until the livingroom looks like a Where’s Waldo-page. Rick even breaks the fourth wall to point this out.

MPB

The Smiths try to figure out who’s real and who’s a parasite, but the memories make it a difficult task. Eventually Morty has Rick dragged to the garage to shoot him, when he discovers that the parasites can only generate happy memories. Morty has a bunch of bad memories about Rick, so he must be real. A pinkclad massacre ensues. All parasites are killed, yet MPB appears at the dinnertable again. Beth squints and shoots him, only to see real blood pouring from his little yellow body! Was he real the whole time? At the aftercreditsscene we see MBP recovering in the hospital…

MPB

Theory

So what’s the theory here? The theory is that we’re not in ‘our’ Rick C-137’s reality in two episodes. We’re watching a different set of Rick and Morty’s! We’re watching a reality in which MPB dóes exist.

Okay, Wordy, what’s the proof?

Proof

In the second episode of the season, Mortynight Run, we see Rick and Morty dropping off Jerry at a Jerry-daycare: Jerryboree. Rick fills in a form and gets a ticket stub with the number 5126, so they can get ‘their’ Jerry when they’re done adventuring. Yes, there are hundreds of Jerries dropped off by different versions of Rick and Morty. Rick says he wishes he was the version of him to come up with the idea of a Jerry-daycare. “That guy is rich.”

Now take a look at the form. With ‘dimension of your Jerry’ Rick writes N/A… Not applicable.

MPB

Does Rick even know which Jerry is with him? Apparently not. We do see ‘our’ Rick’s dimensionnumber however, so we know this is the Rick we’ve been with for more than a season.

MPB

We watch Rick and Morty get into an actionpacked adventure with an alien hitman and a singing fart. At the end of the episode Rick is seen putting green stones with pink things on them in his spaceship.

MPB

At Jerryboree Rick and Morty are retrieving their Jerry, when another set of Rick and Morty’s come and ask wether they have number 5126… Wait, what?

MPB

Rick swaps the Jerries and the episode ends.

MPB

Hold the phone…

Wait… Weren’t we following the Rick and Morty with ticket 5126 this whole episode? Aparently not, this is the proof. But this changes everything, Wordy! It does. That means that this other-reality Rick is the one that brought the parasite on board with the green stones in Mortynight Run and that we’re watching hím instead of ‘our’ Rick C-137 in Total Rickall. This Rick míght have a longtime family friend like MPB, since all the signs point at his existance in this reality. But what about the happy memories of the parasites? Look at this screenshot of the memory with MPB.

MPB

The family is stuck in an elevator, all looking pretty unhappy or annoyed. Morty has to pee, Summer already peed her pants and they’re, you know, stuck in a damn elevator. Not a happy memory! And guess what else… In the opening credits, MPB is there in every. single. shot. Do Rick, Morty, Summer and Mr. Poopybutthole look happy to you in the Cthulhu-shot?

MPB

MPB

Even in shots from episodes we’ve already seen, like Look who’s purging now, where MPB definitely wasn’t there, he pops up.

MPB

MPB

Conclusion

After all these clues, I think it’s pretty plausible that the Rick and Morty from Mortynight Run and Total Rickall are different ones and that, in their reality, Mr. Poopybutthole exists. What do you think? Wubba lubba dub dub!

This is just one of the many, many theories about this amazing show. We will see wether this theory will pan out and how many other eastereggs we can spot in season three.

 

Crookshanks

Harry Potter Theory: Crookshanks’ Original Owner

Crookshanks, Hermiones cat, is an extremely smart animal. She got him from the Magical Menagerie at the start of her third year, where he immediately saw ‘Scabbers’ for what he was: an Animagus called Peter Pettigrew. While cats are known to be pretty smart in general, this is an extraordinary feat for a regular cat. The fact is that he ISN’T just an ordinary bowlegged ginger cat; he is half-Kneazle. But there might be even more to him than meets the eye.

What if Hermione isn’t Crookshanks’ real owner…

SuperCarlinBrothers

We first meet him in 1993 when he comes jumping off a cupboard right on Ron’s head. He plays a pivotal role in The Prisoner of Azkaban, trying to unmask Scabbers and helping Sirius Black. In this video by SuperCarlinBrothers a theory about Crookshanks is explained and it makes a heck of a lot of sense…